By Lailani Bruff
In the current state of the world, and this country, it feels so important to have pathways to navigate feelings of helplessness. The desire to enact real change in the moment can become overwhelming when the environment we are living in does not seem to want to act on our needs. Tonglen is a Buddhist practice that I have found supports my system when helplessness takes over.
Tonglen is a Tibetan word that roughly translates to mean (tong) giving or sending and (len) receiving or taking. I learned this practice while studying in the graduate program at Naropa in Boulder, CO. In this practice, we are meant to breathe in the suffering of another human being or a group of human beings, and breathe out peace, ease, or a cessation of their suffering.
As a mental health counselor, I find myself doing this throughout sessions with clients who are navigating their own suffering, and it can also be put into practice in many ways. The way I like to explain this is that it can be as big or as small as your nervous system can tolerate. Helplessness can place our systems to shut down or disconnect us from ourselves and our communities, and this practice can help keep us from falling too deep.
I see this practice as an energetic practice, actively sending peace and ease to those suffering while also communicating and meeting the need in our systems to “do something” right away. It can be tricky to sit with and witness another person’s grief, pain, or suffering and this practice can allow us to stay present with that person or group of people’s experiences.
Again, breathing in the suffering you are aware or becoming aware of and breathing out peace and ease to those experiencing such pain. I once saw something that said, “anything that isn’t nothing”, and I think often this is what we need. The body and nervous system sense trouble or injustice and their response is “act, jump, fix, fight” and the mind is looking for direction and a place to focus that energy.
Now I want to say that there are many ways to act and take initiative or be an activist (signing petitions, protests, voting, offering your services to those who are in the margins, etc.), and this does not negate the very real need for change. Also, there are moments in time when people need to be held and witnessed in their experience in a way that doesn’t rush them out of their suffering. Tonglen is a practice that can support this intention we set for ourselves.
I want to challenge you all to find a time to work Tonglen into your daily or weekly practice in this season that many are feeling helplessness in.
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